A few months back, my spouse aquired a djembe drum. He’s been wanting a drum for a long time. He used to play “regular” drums during his teen years, but stopped because he couldn’t find anyone to “jam” with. And being a shy individual, he wasn’t the type of guy to answer an ad in the paper, so he just stopped playing.

But the rhythm never stopped in his body.

Last night I asked him to play for me. He played a few beats when I gave him this and asked him to create a beat for this:

Greeting to you, gem of night!
Beauty of Sky, gem of night!
Mother of Stars, gem of night!
Foster-child of Sun, gem of night!
Majesty of Stars, gem of night!

We went outside, me with a single candle and him with his drum, and chanted to Moon just as she was rising in the sky. Then we watched for fireflies, although we did not see any.

It was a simple ceremony, one I will continue each full moon. The most enjoyable part was having my spouse participate in ritual with me. He is very slowly embracing Pagan spirituality.

Tonight we go to a more formal ritual over with Silverwolf Sanctuary.

All this time my sunflowers have been in peat pots waiting for soil. Yesterday, although Moon is full, I put some of them into two different garden beds. Wolf is going to put the rest on the side of the house.

I know it’s very late in planting them and they probably won’t flower, but I couldn’t just kill them (instead, I just never let them grow. Isn’t that worse?). Some are in with the tomatoes and cucumbers, and one or two are in with the pole beans. The rest will go on the driveway side of the trailer because it gets the most Sun.

Full moon was last night and just about everything has flowered. The squash bed is filled with big yellow flowers; hopefully we’ll be awash in squash (look at that: a poet and I didn’t even know it!) and the tomatoes have flowered also. We’ll have more pickling cucumbers than God himself, and the peas are coming in quite nicely too (and yummy!). The beans, peppers, potatoes, cabbage, spinach, turnips, onion, garlic, pumpkin and spegitti squash are all coming in nicely.

It’s amazing what good soil will bring., hu?

The other day I was reading a post from a Pagan which stated she did not have the energy to participate in the Midsummer celebration. A commenter stated the goddess understood why my Pagan friend did not participate in the celebration and She forgave my friend.

It was obvious to me, and any anyone who read the post, my friend was really down in the dumps, and I know the commenter had the best intentions. My friend certainly took the comment the way it was supposed to be taken. It’s not that I’m upset or offended, it’s just I don’t see how come Goddess has to forgive my friend. It seems to me the commenter was patching Christian norms and beliefs onto Paganism.

I don’t see Goddess as a single entity, as one who holds grudges; those ideas are Christian beliefs (Jewish and Muslim also?). We do not have to beg our God for forgiveness, nor ask for it. Pagans, as far as I know, don’t sin so they don’t need to be absolved, wiped clear, or cleaned.

So why is Goddess forgiving us?

This is another topic I’ll have to take up after I put more thought into it. It’s too roughly sketched out to have worth outside my own head. I wanted to get it down before I forgot.

It’s wicked f’n hot out there right now. The garden is wilting in the direct sun (poor turnips and squash, they’re all limp). I gave the garden a good soak down with the hose, but I don’t think it did anything to be honest.

The peppers and cucumbers seem pretty happy though.

The pickling cucumbers I planted have actual cucumbers on them. Oh sure their itty bitty, but that’s just fine with me.

Now I need to find some good pickle recipes. MMMMMmmmmmmm, homemade pickles!

There are Christians would consider Easter the biggest Christian day of the year and others who believe Christmas is. My friend’s family is all about Hanukkah, but scarely notices the other Jewish holidays. I am the same way: for me, the Midsummer barely registers on my radar, but others feel the day with the longest light is the most important day on the Wheel of the Year. On the other hand, Samhain, Yule, and Imbolc are the holidays I connect with most.

Back when I was wee, Halloween was my favorite day of the year. Still now Samhain is the period of time I’ve feel most connected to yesteryear. I always feel my deepest spiritual connection at Samhain, a deep longing in my soul for days gone by. I felt this as a kid and could not put it into words.

Yule is a day, or rather a period of time, I’ve had the hardest time celebrating. Being close to Christmas, I feel if I acknowledge Yule, I’m acknowldging Christmas. And Christmas has always been one of the most difficult times of the year for me. Yule is, of course, the shortest day of the year (unlike Midsummer which is the longest) and every Autumn Equinox I have a breakdown about the shortness of the days. By Samhain I’m plotting suicide because winter is around the corner. It’s not the cold and snow so much as it’s the lack of light, the short days, the need for headlights at 4pm.

While Samhain may be the Celtic New Year, for me the New Year is on Imbolc. In my view, birth is new and death is not. Put into context, Spring is birth while Samhain is death.  And while Imbolc maybe confined to Winter, in Ireland it’s not so cold in February as it is in northeastern United States, thus it was the beginning of Spring according to the Celtic Calender. By Imbolc, one can see the days getting longer; once can feel the days getting longer. Old Man Winter and Our Mother participate in some pretty vigerous intercourse during Imbolc, manifested through fierce winter storms which shake the trees and blow the seed around.

So Midsummer slipped past without barely a nod from me. I read with interest the celebrations other Pagan bloggers created, but I just didn’t feel the need to participate. I’m not sure why Midsummer doesn’t resonate with me. Maybe because I can feel the warmth of Summer and see His light. And because I know the days will get shorter until December.

I have decided not to continue the exploration of the Labrynth Tarot deck I bought earlier this year. As much as I enjoyed the art when I saw the cards on the web, I haven’t connected with them. I’ve spent many hours with them but they just don’t speak to me in the way I need them to. So, if you would like the cards, drop me a comment and I’ll mail the deck to you. The cards do have energy charged into them, and the principle emotion behind the charge is confusion. Hopefully you’ll be able to wash away my confusion and charge the deck with a more personal and meaningful emotion.

I did buy another deck, Universal Goddess Tarot by Lo Scarabeo so I’ll keep you all abreast of how we relate to one another.