I was hoping to post I had gotten a new job in the organization I currently work for, but to do so would be a lie. Anne called me today to tell me I’m SOL–they hired someone else.

My heart is heavy and my wallet shivers in fear. I am so very, very terrified what little we have will be taken away because I cannot find full-time employment. I took my current job as a stepping stone both into the work force and into the progressive movement. I’ve come to realize it’s not just the feminist movement which is made up of entirely middle class white folk, the entire progressive movement is for those who can afford it. And I’m not one of those people. Well, I’m the white part, but not the rest.

I have never been so afraid in my life. So afraid I will never find gainful employment. So afraid my mobile home will be taken away and I’ll be homeless. So afraid of drowning in debt.

I get laid off Jan 9th. I’ve not found a job to fill the gap. Try as I might, I can’t get a waitressing job because I don’t have any experience. Times like this remind me how foolish I was to get a college degree. I never should’ve left the workforce and wasted my time and money in academia. It’s left me nothing but afraid and in debt.