Anyone whose’d known me for a long time — or who has been reading my blog — knows I have this reoccurring dream. Well, it’s not the same dream every time, but it’s the same theme. A “reoccurring theme” is more concise a description.
This theme has been repeated over and over and over again. When I was younger, the dreams would wake me. I’d be covered in sweat and have a hard time getting back to sleep after. I became pretty neurotic about my teeth and dental hygiene in general. Then, for a period of time, I would wake up screaming. Poor Wolf. There have been so many times when he’s been woken from a dead sleep by nightmares activating my vocal cords. Now that we’ve been sleeping next to each other for almost a decade he can now tell when I’m amping up for the scream. He says I moan and twitch which wakes him up so he wakes me up before I start with the Carrie* scream.
Well, I had another of those dreams the other night. No screaming though.
My teeth falling out. They were falling from the right hand, bottom side of my jaw. It was a bunch of teeth, from the molars forward, including the tooth I have to have a crown put on next month. I was glad to not be in pain anymore but then I realized my teeth were falling out and tried to put them back in. I remember thinking “this is going to be a jigsaw puzzle trying to get them back in the right places.”
My teeth toward the front of my mouth had broken into many little, jagged pieces. I was getting frustrated because I couldn’t put my tongue in my mouth comfortably and I couldn’t get my back teeth in place to hold my front teeth. Then I woke up.
Back in the day when I went to a therapist, he told me the dreams represent change. My psyche knows something is going to change and lets me know through making my teeth fall out, much like the way our teeth fell out when we were kids. The whole change from childhood to tween. Incidentally, I hated when my teeth were lose. I was so happy to be over that phase. The wiggling, the icky skin under the tooth, the pain. Oh, I hated it.
So a major change is coming and I don’t know what. Sometimes I do know, like when a new semester was on the horizon or graduation, or when I was getting married. This time, I don’t know what the change is. Maybe a job? Maybe money will fall from the sky? Maybe it’s just because it’s spring and everything is changing all around.
*Stephen King, not SATC