Peppylady asked this question:
We all have our short comings we need to overcome within our lives. So, when you set a goal to change something in your life why do you believe you will fall off the wagon and not complete the process to change from worse to better?
I’ve put a lot of thought into this type of question before. For me personally it’s because I get tired and bored.
In order to make a change in your life, you have to put a lot of thought into what it is you want to change. I’ll use smoking as my example.
I wanted to quit smoking in the worst way but in order to do so I had to find out why I smoked in the first place. It took me years to figure it out and finally I did. I wanted to be just like my dad, someone I know little about. I had this memory of him sitting in the carport with Harry (my uncle and Dad’s best friend) drinking Budweisers and smoking so when I was nine (yes, really) I started stealing cigarettes from my mother’s husband. And so started my nicotine addiction.
One Thanksgiving (or maybe it was Easter, I forget) I was outside smoking with Harry.
Harry: When did you start smoking?
Me: Um, like 15 years ago.
Harry: Oh. Really? Why?
Me: Why what?
Harry: Why did you start smoking?
Me: to be just like Dad.
Harry [blink, blink]: Your father never smoked.
Me [incredulous] [cough cough sputter sputter]: What????
It took the next five years for me to quit smoking. I tried the patch which made me faint at work. Thankfully I worked at a hospital so I was treated immediately (read: they took the patch off). Then I tried the gum but it gave me heartburn, the hiccups, and the burps. Then I tried cold turkey but that didn’t work very well. Please realize I lived with my mother and husband. Her husband smokes three packs a day so although I would do ok during the day, as soon as I got home I’d start crawling the walls because my addiction was triggered. Finally, I admitted I couldn’t quit without medical intervention so I went to the doctor who prescribed Zyban (spelling?). Within two weeks I quit after smoking for 20 years.
All the times I tried before it took so much energy out of me to resist having a smoke I would become exhausted and would just give in. I just got so tired I couldn’t rationalize myself out of the craving. Certainly as time when on my resolve would be longer and stronger but eventually fatigue would take over and I’d ask for a smoke. And how I enjoyed that first inhale!
Though I haven’t smoked in seven years, I still crave cigarettes. There are days I stand next to smokers just so I can second hand smoke. There have been times when I’ve asked smokers to blow smoke into my face as I inhaled just so I could get that beloved rush. And only once have I had a cigarette since I quit: the week of 9/11. Actually, I didn’t have one, I bought a pack but didn’t finish it. Before the week was over I chucked the pack and have not bought one since nor has a butt been to my lips.
Sometimes the thing you’re trying to change is something which means you need to develop a routine. Now, I’ve not been successful in consistently exercising but it’s still a good example for me. I want to exercise, I think about it all the time. But as soon as I develop a routine I get bored. I don’t like feeling boxed into a routine, I don’t like feeling trapped, and that’s how I feel when I develop a routine. And I get bored of the same thing over and over. Being that I can’t afford a gym there isn’t much in the way of exercise I can do: walk or run, DVDs. It’s the same movement over and over, day after day.
So for me those are the reasons I fall off the bandwagon. Fatigue and boredom.
Should you choose to answer this question please link back to Peppylady. She rocks Idaho!