I’ve been an emotional wreck the last couple days which is why I haven’t been posting. Well, that and because I haven’t had anything to say.
The other night the fire department had a call. It wasn’t a particularly emergent call but it was disturbing for other reasons which I can’t get into because of privacy reasons. The call went out at about 10ish, maybe closer to 11, so it wasn’t wicked late at night. As a matter of fact, Wolf and I hadn’t gone to bed yet. Anyhoo, we got back from the call about an hour later and, following our routine for night calls, we both had a cup of tension tamer with a ball of catnip. It worked well on my body but my brain would NOT SHUT OFF. After about an hour I got up and took two melatonin. The pills put me right to sleep. But then.
But then on Monday I was a wreck. I’ve noticed this side effect with the melatonin before though I’d forgotten about it because I don’t take it often. All day on Monday I could feel the anxiety and panic in my chest. Wolf walked in the door from work and I was in tears, bawling like a baby. We ate dinner then went down to the station (this is our normal Monday night sans bawling) and I was cranky, bitchy, and temper tantrum-y. I hate being like that and I especially hate it when I’m like that in front of people. I made a bunch of snide remarks which isn’t good. The melatonin certainly inhibits my already poor impulse control. Combine the lack of control with physical feelings of panic and anxiety and you have one Howling Hill in a craptastic mood.
Yesterday I spent the day knitting which is when I realized I just cannot take the melatonin as a sleep aid. So my herbally friends what say you? Is there something I can put into a tea, or a pill, which will shut my brain off so I can sleep?