Group Living

Wolf and I have been talking about moving which is why I asked if any of my readers (all three of you =) lived in Maryland. It’s only 6 hours from our friends in Massachusetts, the only connection we’ll have to the state in a matter of years.

Thing is, I’m really worried about getting old and having no connections. I fear I’ll be one of those old ladies who rots away in her house because she has no family, no friends, no one who misses her. I fear I’ll be one of those old ladies whose cats eat her face because she’s been dead for so long it’s the only food they have access too. I considered having a baby just so I can give birth to caretakers like so many others I know but that’s one shitty reason to bring a life onto an already crowded planet.

I’d like to move into some type of communal living (but not a commune) because of the intense disconnect I feel living on Howling Hill. You see, I always thought Wolf and I would be able to make a family of our own through friends, family, and acquaintances but it hasn’t worked out that way. Instead, our friends are scattered, our families barley acknowledge our existence (my fault not his), and acquaintances are few and far between.

I don’t want to live in communal housing, I want to live on communal land in my own house. I want everything to be owned in common I just want my own space, my own fridge, my own door. I want to communally garden and raise meat and eggs, shovel and plow (though hopefully not too much because I want to move somewhere warmer), some place where our religion is respected. But I don’t know how to seek out those places. And I’m not sure this is what Wolf wants either.

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15 Responses to Group Living

  1. Annette says:

    Communal living would be good – wish we had enough like minded individuals to live like that here.
    I am about 5 hours from MD, depending on which part you are in. Close enough for a day visit! =)

  2. Matriarchy says:

    I would do that. I looked at it seriously when my kids were younger and I was single. I am not sure my DH would go for it, either. I wouldn’t mind talking about it more, even if my family and yours turn out not an ideal match – the issues are worth exploring. I am in SE PA and travel to MD regularly for youth conferences. Email me if you want to chat.

  3. Meadowlark says:

    I thought Intentional Communities had separate homes but with shared things as well.

    Check out:

    and focus on co-housing (if I remember the terms)

    Good luck

  4. Judy says:

    Oh, community living would be a definite YES for me. Unfortunately I live in the midwest- although my ‘conspicuous consumption’ sister lives in Maryland. But probably not what you are looking for…

  5. Howling Hill says:

    Annette: I don’t know why we, as humans and as “Americans”, got away from communal living. It’s as if our peers think we’re failures or something if we choose to (or desire too.)

    Matriarchy: Wolf isn’t crazy over the idea but I think it appeals to him a little.

    Judy: there’s gotta be communities as such in the midwest. I’d look into it if I were you.

  6. Howling Hill says:

    Meadowlark: thanks for the link, I’ll take a gander.

  7. Jessica says:

    I lived in Maryland, Silver Spring to be exact, right outside of DC. I liked it, but the traffic and crime were bad. At least you could take the subway a lot of places. Not sure about any communal living places near there, maybe farther from DC…?

  8. Maggie says:

    G & I have always talked about someday starting a intentional community… But I’m with you – my own space, with a door that closes is *critical*. No matter how good of relationship you have with the others in the community, privacy is an essentail part of personal wellbeing.

  9. Howling Hill says:

    Jessica: I’m not interested in living in an urban area. I’m a country girl, ya know?! I don’t mind commuting to work so long as it’s not more than an hour and that includes traffic. Train/bus/subway is ok with me too so long as it takes me to my rural home.

    Maggie: yea, own space is non-compromise-able. Maybe it’s something we should discuss seriously…?

  10. I think it would be a fantastic way to live! I’d love to have a community of yurts on our property someday. How about starting your own community on Howling Hill?

  11. Kim says:

    Move to Maine, it is not far from Mass! You could get a big piece of old farmland and start your own communtiy. Rent a place first to see if u like it?? Check out MOFGA’s website (Maine Organic Farmer’s Association) it is real big here in Maine, great wat to network with others that have similar interests. The have an AMAZING agricultural fair in August and it attracts thousands. I spent 2 days there last year and didn’t see and learn all I wanted to. Ok I am a little predgidous (so?) to this state. Maine girl through and through…never even been on a place, sah Huh? ~Kim

  12. Jessica says:

    My friend has been in Arizona and was talking about a commune down there, maybe near Tuscon that she fell in love with.

  13. Tracie W. says:

    I just dropped by because I am about to combine my family with another in a common living space, and I am looking around for advice. Your blog turned up in the search! Maybe I can point you in a good direction at the same time.

    I truly admire intentional communities that work well. An amazing one, that sounds most like what you are describing, is Twin Oaks. It’s in Virginia, and they are so successful that people tour their site for research on communal living. You can check them out at

    Good luck and peace!


  14. Howling Hill says:

    Kim: We’ve considered Maine. It’s definitely on the list however the long winter is a huge “con” against Maine. Moving away from winter is one of the primary reasons we’re looking to relocate.

    Jessica: I’m an East Coast girl. I can’t imagine living in a desert.

    Tracie: Thanks for the links and welcome to Howling Hill!

  15. Pingback: Establishing Howling Hill « Howling Hill

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